Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Dog Wheesperer and Eye-Stabbing High Jumps

Yesterday i got my face stabbed.
by alex louden.
i'm still not sure if it was an accident or not, but he fails, at both high-jumping and assassination.

So we're at the track after school, being the studly jocks we are, and we're laying around the the high jump mat, also like the studly jocks we are.
Alex decides to try to high jump. without alerting the people on the fuckin' mat that he's about to barrel roll on top of their lazy asses.
He missed the bar, the failure. Not just missed. He hit it, side-on. White kids can't jump.
So the bar slid and hit my eye. Luckily my reflexes aren't so bad that i couldn't close my eyes before i got stabbed in the iris.
But it scratched my eyelid.
to anyone going, "man, what a sissy. it's a frickin flap of skin above your eye."
it fucking hurts. you don't even know, it stings like a papercut and vinegar.

But dog whisipering.
I am the next Cesar Milan.
Brandon was being weird during lunch, so everytime he did something weird i'd tap his neck with two fingers and say, "tsst."
so this is what lunch sounded like:

"tsst!" "hey!" "TSSST!" "sofia!" "TSSSSSSSSSST!!!"

it was productive.
but i have to go make a powerpoint for computers about something that i know less about than curing cancer. so,

love until later.